The best I ever had

 Normally, I don't share my sexual experiences just to share them. I place them within a context of some kind to tell a bigger picture that I have in mind. This post is an exception to that rule. I was inspired to write this based on an email from a reader. Although I'm in my early 30's, the best sexual experience I ever had was about 6 weeks ago. I've had good sex, even great sex. Mostly mediocre so-so sex, with a dash of never again, horrible bad sex. But each of those times, something was missing.

Dana was a young man that I met on Craigslist. He was in his early twenties, white, over 6 feet and extremely fit. So fit in fact, that we met after he worked out at a nearby gym. Dana had a previous sexual experience with an older plus sized woman and he wanted it again. It was a fetish of his. There was something about the shape and feel of a bbw that set him off. I remember him telling me that the age difference was another turn on. He wanted me to teach him some things. When it was over, I was the one who had learned something new. Standing there in gym shorts and a white t-shirt, Dana looked like Adonis personified. I still figured the sex would be so-so because of his age. Imagine my total surprise an hour later.

My body was worshiped, lovingly touched, appreciated and gazed at. He left no fold untouched. One of the best moments was during missionary when he grabbed my breasts and squeezed them hard while he pushed in and out of me in a blur. Dana had endurance. He could go and go.

I get down on myself a lot, so I was amazed that he came to me already hard and erect. I wondered why a man as attractive as him would want to be with me. Self esteem issues cause me to seek out partners younger, fitter and more attractive than me. I value myself based on my ability to have sex with men who are like that. Once with them, I doubt their ability to find me attractive. I pretty much find it hard to relax during sex as I spend so much time watching my body to make sure it doesn't jiggle, hang or move the wrong way.

I think this is part of the reason I didn't enjoy my last time with Young Daddy. While in the reverse cowgirl position, I became aware of the fact that my stomach was slapping against my thighs and that was making noise. Instantly, I was turned off and became less centered on the amazing sensations in my pussy and more focused on minimizing that sound. Young Daddy didn't care as he was making sounds of his own, though his were more moans and groans. He noticed the change in me and asked at various times if I wanted to keep going. I think he thrives on the fact that he can make me cum. Tuning out and becoming focused on getting it over would turn any man off.

My absolute favorite part of the encounter, aside from the love he showered on my breasts, was being in doggy style position with Dana. He rubbed, smoothed, grabbed and slapped my ass, thighs and back. It was like he was thirsty and hungry for me and couldn't get enough. The sounds of his hard body and my softer one slapping together sent me over the edge. Feeling my ass jiggle with each thrust kept me focused and aware of the sensations moving through me and heightened my arousal. Whatever position we moved to, I loved seeing his eyes roll back in his head and his soft moaning sounds.

Dana left me extremely well fucked and all I could do was drape myself on a couch and try to still my breath and stop sweating so much. I was completely covered in sweat and my pussy was dripping wet and sore. After a quick shower, I slept like a baby until morning time. I think this was the first step in my sexual awakening. For years, sex was something men did to, on or around me. Dana was the first man to have sex with me. We didn't make love, though there were tender moments. We fucked. But, we fucked together and we mutually enjoyed it.  I didn't focus on making him cum to the exclusion of my own pleasure. Many of my experiences have found me trying to get the guy off so that I can please him or get the encounter over quickly.

I can see my body now and I'm less disgusted by it. I still ask for the lights to be dimmed, but I no longer keep a t-shirt or bra on and haven't for years. However when I was with Dana, I did turn around to undress despite the fact that he was going to see it anyway. I'm trying to stop doing that. I chuck my clothes with abandon and after sex I no longer jump up to get dressed. The internet has been wonderful as a learning aide and I've been able to use it to develop self-acceptance. The experience with Dana has been a big part of accepting my fat body.